here's the thing:

I had the extreme luck to end up seeing the Royal Winnipeg Ballet's Jekyll and Hyde with a friend on short notice and as such I am full of thoughts. Many of these thoughts are ???? but I still did enjoy myself. You can see the trailer here which has at least a little of it!

( Many, many thoughts )

So much of this is complaints or things that I think they could do differently, but I think that's mostly because during the good parts I just got swept up in the "woohoo, ballet!" of it all. It could use a lot of paring down, a better score, and some cleaning up of the choreography/direction for the author, if not a removal of the author entirely, but it was still a really interesting ballet to see and I'm glad I saw it!

The fact that I didn't do any online roundups for 2021 or 2022 and moved my 2023 roundup to Tumblr probably says something about me. I'm not entirely clear what it says but. Porting this from tumblr to here! I should hopefully at some later point do a) a retroactive roundup for 2021 and 2022 as well as this year's forthcoming roundup and a more detailed piecemeal roundup like I did in 2020.

2023 was a mixed bag of spreading out my creative energies more than I'm used to, which is why I'm glad I'm tracking so many aspects of what I do instead of just tracking writing and going "OH NO I DID NOTHING AND FAILED".

Here's some highlights!

• 8,139 fiction words written
• 11 hours 39 minutes of podfic recorded and posted!
• 32,430 words for uni (HORRIBLE)

Notable Facts About These Facts:

• 2,440 fiction words were fic!
• Almost half of my podfic was in this fic, which is a Jeeves & Wooster fic where it's just "what if Bertie had a bestie that was like him except a lesbian" and it's beautiful.

This is the least number of fiction words I've written in a year ever since I have records. Which is 2012, when I was 12-13. Which is kind of wild? I'm really glad to have the rest of these numbers too so I can go a) I'm still being creative, it's just more aimed toward podfic this year b) I still wrote a metric fuckton of words.
This brings my total up to 851,398 fiction words in my lifetime and 193,465 academic words for a total-lifetime-writing of 1,044,863.

NUMBER GO UP!!!

I also read 33 books in 2023 and an unknown but likely horrific amount of fic.

Hi! Thank you for writing for me, I appreciate it more than you know. My goal for this year's exchange is basically... just to come away either smiling or thinking "huh". By which I mean, you don't need to be earth-shattering. I'll be delighted with pretty much anything as long as you don't stumble into a DNW!

General Likes

• People having fun! Shenanigans! I like when characters are fond of each other and genuinely enjoy spending time with each other.
• Found family! Found family! Especially queer found family!
• Queer reimaginings! Especially F/F reimaginings. I'm a lesbian, I love me some fairy tale wlw.
• Secret relationships, and the ways people still connect though they're publicly not affiliated
• Deep trust and connection and loyalty, knowing people very well and showing it
• Deep longing (especially if it gets resolved in the end)
• Small details! Things people are passionate about that creep into the story/narration are my JAM
• Established relationships where people are still deeply in love
• I like moody/atmospheric things this year, the kind of story you can just sink into

None of these likes are requirements, they're just there in case you're looking for guidance!

( DNW )


( The Silkie of Sule Skerry )( The Selkie Bride )
( The Wild Swans )
( The Odyssey )

I read 118 books in 2020, which you know... fair. I also read a fuckton of fanfic, but I don't really track that in any meaningful way. Here's some bookmarked fics I really enjoyed though!

• The Woods of Change by Merfilly is a Earth's Children oneshot that scratched an itch I've had for a while re: where that series left off with Durc.
• As Sweet As The Sound by skatzaa was a Yuletide gift for me and a DELIGHT of a fanfic for Fire by Kristin Cashore.
• The Waynes, Damsels In Distress by hitthedeck which I liked so much I arranged a multivoice podfic of it here.
• So Says The Sword by komodobits, a Supernatural (I know, I know) fic that almost makes the show look like it has a theme.
• a turn of the earth by microcomets is another Supernatural fic that's like wow, if you put it like this the show could have been good, who thought?
• r/supernatural by renrub is... transcendent.
• Replay by Unforgotten is an XMen fic that's the funniest possible time travel concept where everyone is a nightmare all the time. Thank you.
• blessed with a wilder mind by opinionhaver69 is a Gideon fic that nails the voice and made me cry because oops, too relatable!
• Salvage by MuffinLance, an ATLA fic where Zuko get kidnapped and then adopted. It's almost done!
• No Fixed Point by bendingsignpost has a concept that still haunts me and is SO good. It's Sherlock, which also haunts me. I swore never again-
• A Christmas Wedding by vorpalsword contains (platonic) nightmare Donna and Ten. Beautiful.
• Pocket Watch Boy by Mhalachai is a Torchwood sort of fix it but mostly just fun and good.

In terms of actual books I read this year, like I said that's a lot of em. I'd rate Murderbot absolute top of the list, that series is one of my new all-time favourites. KJ Charles gets honourable mention because I read a whole stack of her books this year and as a rule enjoyed them quite a lot. The books that hit me the hardest were Gideon and Harrow by Tamsyn Muir, for whatever reason they hammered on every button I have pretty much which was really odd since they're long high-stakes mysteries and I hate those. I read and reread lots of Seanan McGuire (very enjoyable) and some Jennifer Lynn Barnes (mostly readable). My non-fiction pick of the year would definitely be Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer. That's about the year!

Hi! Thank you for writing for me, I appreciate it more than you know. My goal for this year's exchange is basically... just to come away either smiling or thinking "huh". By which I mean, you don't need to be earth-shattering. I'll be delighted with pretty much anything as long as you don't stumble into a DNW!

General Likes

• People having fun! Shenanigans! I like when characters are fond of each other and genuinely enjoy spending time with each other.
• Found family! Found family! Especially queer found family!
• Secret relationships, and the ways people still connect though they're publicly not affiliated
• Deep trust and connection and loyalty, knowing people very well and showing it
• Deep longing (especially if it gets resolved in the end)
• Small details! Things people are passionate about that creep into the story/narration are my JAM
• Established relationships where people are still deeply in love
• I like moody/atmospheric things this year, the kind of story you can just sink into

None of these likes are requirements, they're just there in case you're looking for guidance!

( DNWs )

The Silkie of Sule Skerry

• I adore Maz O'Connor's rendition here, I love the longing that's sad but not heartbroken. Almost hopeful? It's very much a sort of tale, not a current agony.
• It's very much a song about the inevitability of fate/prophecy. Does it always have to come true? What does "come true" really mean? Poke all that with a stick, I'll watch happily.
• You don't have to stick exactly to the story in the song, you can take the basic concepts and run wild and I'll be delighted.
• Similarly, is this song necessarily the exact true events? Or is this what someone came up with after they heard this story from a friend of a friend of a friend? Has this been given PR spin on twitter, so to speak? What's the difference between the real story and the song, if any?
• If you want to genderbend and make this queer, I'm into that.
• Specific DNW: sexual/romantic coercion of the woman by either the hunter or the silkie.

The Sealskin

• As you can tell by the fact I've requested two canons about selkies... I really like selkies. This is your permission to write a story about selkie mythos in general and have fun, if you so desire!
• I don't necessarily want this to be a dark story and I definitely am not looking for a hopeless one, but there's room in this story I think to just... sit still and look around at loneliness and obligation and feeling out of place.
• This is a story that could have SO many interesting subversions. Was the selkie like the little mermaid and just wanted to see the dry world and this was how she got to do it? Did she arrange this with the husband? Was this a way for her to get away from her family in the sea? Could she never figure out how to pick locks, did she want to stay? Could her seal-children not visit her on land? Couldn't she visit her land-children later?
• I'm deeply in love with the idea of a magical and eldritch and incomprehensible but maybe sometimes kind ocean. Water? Love it.
• Genderbending/making this queer is GREAT and VERY COOL and you're welcome to.
• Specific DNW: on-page noncon/dubcon, a heavy focus on sexual noncon/dubcon aspects, if you're going with a standard "selkie is captured and doesn't want to be here" please don't genderbend/make it queer.

The Odyssey

• My requested characters are: Athena, the Sirens, and Penelope. This does not mean you have to put them all in the same story. I mean if you want to knock yourself out but I'd be equally happy with any individual one of them.
• I've always been so fond of Greek myth since I was a little kid and Athena has long been one of my favourites. Weaving wisdom and war. She's so cool. I truly do not understand why she's so horny for Odysseus so if you figure you know why or want to create some sort of argument for it, I'll be your rapt audience.
• I am so weak for the trope of gods/goddesses hidden among humans and also the ways in which they shine out and are obviously divine to those who are looking. What else was Athena involved in during the war? Were there any other humans she had an interest in? How does she appear to different people, especially those who worship different aspects of her (e.g. how she appears to a woman spinning wool as she walks away from her war-torn home vs how she would appear to a soldier vs a general vs Penelope etc etc etc).
• I've been in love with fibre crafting since I was a little kid — I used to weave by sight on a loom under the covers after lights out because if I turned on a light to read a book I'd get caught. Penelope did that on a scale times a million — she was so skilled in a very difficult thing and she kept the whole thing going for so long.
• Again for Penelope, I love the sort of... power behind the scenes/underestimated trope. Penelope is very much overlooked and put in a box of assumptions. Who was she, really? Who is she to herself working her fingers raw in the middle of the night? 
• You don't have to, but Athena is the goddess of weaving. Does she also have a fondness for Penelope? Does she keep her company? Does she lend her magic, or just a listening ear? Can she really understand, as a sort of eldritch figure, the very real things that Penelope has to deal with? Does she want to understand?
• Related: Odysseus isn't a character I nominated because I'm more interested in the women for the most part, but I'm down for a Penelope/Athena/Odysseus story especially if its while Odysseus is still off who-knows-where and Penelope is at home and Athena visits each of them in turn. I'll also lift my "no cheating" because I really do think its a grey area if you want to do Athena/Penelope without Odysseus's knowledge while Odysseus is off on his journey.
• Specific DNW: We all know the Greek gods are Like That™ but please don't lean into their incest, please don't have onscreen noncon with Penelope or have a big focus on her being scared of sexual violence, Odysseus or other characters appearing is fine of course but don't make the story entirely about them/him.

The Iliad

• Me reading the Iliad for a class: shut the fuck up about the men where are the WOMEN. *gets to a scene with a woman* You're ten thousand times more interesting than the men even though the author clearly didn't intend you to be, damn.
• Again, I love juxtaposition. Cassandra is so powerful, and she's powerless. She's caught in this impossible situation and she knows exactly how impossible it is, and how it will end.
• If you want to save Cassandra... I'll be there. What are the loopholes? For instance: Odysseus is overrated but he is "nobody" — will he believe her? Will she actually engage with him once she realizes he is capable of believing her?
• Her and Apollo. There's... a lot there. I'll say this: I'm a big fan of gods being a little off, a little odd, a little eldritch, a step to the left of humanity. He's ancient and inhuman. That means its not that simple. Does he still care for her? What does her care for him mean? Does he forgive her? Does he even understand/care for forgiveness as a concept?
• Do women react any differently to Cassandra and her reputation or prophecies? Do her sisters? Do children? 
• Can Cassandra get around people not beleiving her? For instance, her nephew Hector's sun gets yote off a wall and she must know this. Does she/can she just... steal the baby and give it to a family she knows is leaving the city? Can Cassandra's own personal actions affect things even if her words can't?
• Specific DNW: Apollo being just 100% vindictive (being nasty and complicated is okay as long as it's more than a purely negative relationship), and we know the Greek gods are Like That™ but please don't lean into their incest. And please no onscreen/main focus noncon.

Dear Author,

This is my first year doing Yuletide, because I never really thought about it before but I'm raring to go this year. These three fandoms I'm requesting are all going to delight me, no matter what you end up writing! For Seven Kingdoms and Samantha, any rating is fine though I'm more of a fan of "story that has sex in it" than "story that is 100% sex". Earth's Children has my requested characters as a mother and son though, so I'd prefer non-explicit for that one.

General Likes

• People having fun! Shenanigans! I like when characters are fond of each other and genuinely enjoy spending time with each other.
• Found family! Found family! Especially queer found family!
• Secret relationships, and the ways people still connect though they're publicly not affiliated
• Deep trust and connection and loyalty, knowing people very well and showing it
• Future fic! A few years / months after the canon, dealing with all of what just happened? Beautiful. Kid characters aged up? Hell yeah. (Though I would prefer not to have the adults become very old or dead)
• Small details! Things people are passionate about that creep into the story/narration are my JAM
• Pining. So much pining. They're all empty headed and can't tell the other person is pining after them too... haha unless?
• Established relationships where people are still deeply in love

( DNWs )

( Earth’s Children — Jean M. Auel )

( American Girls: Samantha )

( Seven Kingdoms Trilogy — Kristin Cashore )

So, before checking goodreads, I apparently left off these reviews at Understatement of the Year. That's somewhere between 20 and 30 books ago, so I'm going to catch up now. Oh god. How many is it. Oh christ it WAS thirty. Jesus. Oh god. Oh fuck. Well, here it is, the post! For the record, there aren't usually super specific spoilers for the books, but these aren't spoiler free reviews at ALL.

( I've read too many books )

So this may not have been thirty books exactly, but this post takes me from around fifty books to eighty so I'll count it as thirty. On my next list, if all goes well, will be Harrow. Can't wait for Tamsyn Muir to do it again and make me like a high stakes mystery epic, all of which are things I hate.

Hilariously I've read eleven books, the last few in quick succession, so it was a little hard to remember how far back to go.

The Bride Test by Helen Hoang
I got a little frustrated at points that the brother character seemed to know absolutely everything, especially what people were thinking, in order to explain to the main dude what was going on. I liked the previous book by this author, but was a little offput by the "sex worker wants to quit sex work" narrative that seems to be the only narrative. This book seemed a lot more personal, which the author's note confirmed: she talked to her mom a lot about her immigrant experience. Esme, the main female character, was very strongly written and grounded within the story. I enjoyed it!

Camgirl by Isa Mazzei
I feel like I ran across this rec an age ago by someone in the gender studies discipline or similar, but the hold took so long to come in that I've forgotten. I was expecting it to be a lot more theory heavy and more widely drawn, but this was basically a memoir. For a memoir, which is something I never read, it was mostly interesting.

Beautiful Wreck by Larissa Brown
A comfort reread. I usually hate time travel romances because their romanticization of the past is utterly foreign to me as a disabled queer person, but this one isn't really like that. Or at least, ~the past~ isn't what's romanticized here — this author just is infatuated with farm life in tenth century Norway. This whole book is just these sweeping, adoring descriptions of how fucking sick it is to be spinning wool on a farm in tenth century Norway. The romance plot upon the reread was even funnier, because there was straight up like three or four times where they kissed or became close and then something terrible happened to her and he went "no we cannot bang, it is my curse, you will be hurt". But in a non angsty way, mostly? Just an infinitely yearning way, with an edge of comedy because it was a reread. If you're the kind of person who thinks it would be sick as hell to spin wool on a farm in tenth century Norway, you'll enjoy this book. (Also, it has some very cool worldbuilding re: a future, and I love that the main woman is a linguist and that's why she can understand the past).

Action by Quinn Anderson
I think this is the first romance novel I've read with a sex worker as the main or love interest that isn't angsty about it. I've been looking for one for a while, and this one was basically a rom com that involved boning on camera. I did get it for free from a Covid-based "everyone's depressed here's a book" thing but I would have been happy paying for it too.

Docile by K.M. Sparza
This is definitely literary fiction, in the way that it sidles up to you and goes "haha wouldn't it be fucked up if-". It had a lot of interesting things to say (or suggest that you should Think™ about) re: consent, capitalism, debt, how much we can fuck each other up. It also had two unreliable narrators and deals heavily with sexual assault, so this is definitely not a book for everyone. This is a book you read to discuss, not a book you read with hot chocolate in bed.

Come Tumbling Down by Seanan McGuire
I enjoyed the book, as I enjoy about everything that Seanan McGuire writes. I think the thing about these books / this series is that they're paced oddly to me. Scenes and plot stuff tend to whip by unendingly, and I tend to want to sit a little deeper in each scene. Mental illness (OCD) used as a sensitive plot point in fantasy? Incredible.

The Murderbot Diaries by Martha Wells
Technically, this is four novellas. I accidentally read 1, 3, 2, 4. I liked the first one the best because the concept was so new, but they were all really standout novellas. Murderbot is very, very good. Spoilers but here's some paraphrased things that happen:

( Spoilers )

The whole thing is just this murderous robot going UGHHHHH HUMANS ARE LOOKING AT ME and then being very good at murdering things and hacking things and then having a crisis because it doesn't want to interact with People. Also, I love how gender is handled in these books. Murderbot doesn't ever use a gender for itself, seems to be perfectly good with being referred to as "it", and when pretending to be human puts a gender down on it's ID as "indeterminate". Which is accepted without thought. There's a few alien genders and genders, and they aren't important to the story but they are respected. I can't wait until the fifth in the series which is apparently a full novel is at my library. Or I may just buy it, I've enjoyed Murderbot that much. Of everything on this list, Murderbot is the thing I can unequivocally recommend.

It's a little shocking that it's taken into the third month for me to read ten books. I can read ten books in a good week, but I guess to say I'm busy is an understatement.

( My ten books! )

I'm so glad that I'm finally done the first ten books of the year and able to soothe the itch that is writing about it. We'll see if the next book roundup is anytime soon.

 Hey! It's a new sticky post!

You probably know me from tumblr as writerproblem193 or ao3 as ThatAloneOne. This place is behind the scenes stuff and journalling. The journalling is mostly access locked, but only so it doesn't go floating around the internet at random. If you request it and you don't look like a bot (Tumblr made me paranoid forgive me) then I'll accept the request!

Here's the roundup stuff though. 

• Writing, fanfic and otherwise. 
• Reading, fanfic and otherwise.
• Listening, podcasts and music. 

I tag stuff mostly consistently, and tend to clean them up over time. So you'll probably find what you're looking for there.